Shades of Green

Fate. Another four letter word with a huge meaning. Do we really control our lives or is it all planed out already. Do all roads we take end in one absolute destination, with already planned out lessons. The saying does go "all roads lead to Rome". Can we go against it? Yea, we can but I feel that it doesn't matter; it comes down to two general questions: do you want to do the the easy way, or the hard way? If someone really is suppose to be in your life you'll meet them right? I've met so many people and I've learned we are all connected. It's actually kind scary. We all went to the same places, we just didn't know each yet. It's almost as if our lives were meant to collide. Lives collide and in a single moment your lives are intertwined, but all things come with its respective opposite counterpart. Lives not only collide into one another but they also deviate from one another. Are we suppose to let this happen? Do we cling on as long as we can? Someone once said, " Once it's done, it's over. Thats why were are suppose to cherish and enjoy every moment you had when you were with them". I've been waiting for this moment because I knew it was going to be inevitable. It was bound to happen. I didn't want it to. I've voiced my concern time and time again. I didn't want to lose someone else in my life. Now, it is happening, and what am I to do? I'm, as always, indifferent as to what I want. I adored and cherished everything that happened. I'm also sick of putting up with feeling unloved. I know we all express our affection differently. I also know people like to justify everything they do. Why? I guess to avoid guilt, because it's better to feel it was someone else's fault other than their own. I see the problems. I know all I have to do it put myself out there and just say, "whats up?". Instead I'm waiting for someone else to do so. Why? I want to see if they care enough to stop what is happening, or just let it fall to pieces through silence. It hurts because I adored and cared a lot, but this only makes me believe that it was a one way street. Prove me wrong. I really want you to, but I'm not going to give you the chance. I'm going to take the first leap. I'm done waiting. I'm done sitting. Everyone says I should just let it end. That it's not good for me. I tend to have these relationships. It sucks. So I'm done. I don't want these moments of confidence to be in short spurts like they are now. I'm going to live it up. Fail. Get rejected. Put myself out there. I think the rewards would be worth it more than if they fall in my lap.

Justin

Is beginning to realize that he likes them better.

Why doesn't he want to tell me? Why didn't he tell me?

Eff you Physical Science Office

In short.. you guys fuckin suck. HAHA.

Yea. Damn you receptionist who would tell me what my problem was and though she knew the answer before I was finished explaining myself thus, telling me complete bull shit and now wanting to shallow your pride thus fucking me over.. haha BITCH

Yes..I know I brought this upon myself.. but... sigh... I"m just frustrated. She did do her job.

Jodaiko

Hooray for good days :D woot.

Time for practice :D so peace.. I just feel great... and feel like screaming it :D. A great weigh has been lifted from my shoulders... or at least it feels as if one has.

:D :D :D :D :D Practice is going to Rock

Fuck.. damn.. shit

need i say more? haha.. damn.. sometimes i just hate dorm life.

No more

So.. You know.. but you are being lame... it's all good. I just know now that you weren't that great.

It was fun though :D

OMG OMG OMG OMG

AHHH!!!! PANIC!!!!!!!

AHHHH!!

TAKE A DAMN HINT!! shit.. haha.. you are totally like. oblivious i'm throwing myself at you and you are not taking a hint.

But yea... I delete my myspace.. YEA!! I always get soo depressed when i'm on it. So yea..